Pitbulls for Kerry

Until November 2, my friend Cathy and I have devoted our Thursday evenings to getting John Kerry elected by making phone calls for our union, SEIU (Service Employees International Union). This is our small contribution to stemming the tide of American fascism. With these calls we make sure our union members are registered, encourage them to exercise their franchise as soon as they get their ballots in the mail, ask them what issues are the most important to them, and inform them that their union endorses John Kerry and why.

Now, we call not just SEIU members but other AFL-CIO affiliated unions. One AFT (American Federation of Teachers)union member and supporter of Bush said her number-one issue was security. I couldn't quite believe it. Why isn't she up in arms about Bush's unfunded educational mandates and the hypocrisy of the last election's slogan, No child left behind?

And speaking of arms, I talked to a member of the Pipe Fitter's Union whose number-one issue, only issue really, was the 2nd Amendment. I offered that Kerry is also a gun owner and hunter who really only differs from Bush's position on guns in that he actively supports the assault weapons ban. "Yeah, that's bad," he replied. Out of incredulity I stammered, "So that means you think that people, anyone should have the right to an assault rifle?" He saw no problem with that. Stunned, I finished the call. There's just no reaching someone who thinks I should be allowed an AK47.

Cathy, however, does not give up so easily. She got a fellow on the line really heated up about his/everyone's need for semi-automatic, bayonet-mounted weaponry. Cathy shot back, "Well, what about all those law enforcement officials who back the assault weapons ban? The very people who have to face assault rifles in the hands of criminals? Oh, and what about terrorists who can purchase UZI's at American gun shows?" Cathy wasn't going to stop there, she moved the conversation onto other topics, like the national debt. "You know that divided up, every American's share, your share of the current national debit is over $25,000? Doesn't that concern you just a little?" Cathy was really leaning into this call.

At this point, the union organizer running the phone bank came over to Cathy and held a piece of paper in front of her. Soon after Cathy ended the call. When we took a break, a red-faced Cathy told me what the note said: Try not to piss people off.

People seem much more reasonable when it comes to local races. Like for State Representative, lots of folks are undecided because they've been paying so much attention to the Presidential campaign. But when we tell our members that Phil Barnhart has stood by the union, especially in regards to retaining benefits and ensuring the retirement plans of public service employees -- even when this was terribly unpopular position among his colleagues -- they have no problem lending him their support.

When you get down to it, the kind of heated opposition to Kerry I've encountered on my Thursday evening calls isn't just about the current polarized political climate or corporate absorption of the nation's media. It's just a whole lot easier to support a candidate who has very clearly supported you as a worker. And although Kerry's record is positive next to Bush's aggressively negative one, Democrats on the national level don't have as much to boast on as they should -- at least not enough to make the decision so clear for working people. The water is nice and muddy, so Republicans get us is on social issues, like abortion, gay marriage (i.e., homophobia), and gun control. Sigh.

Mary Ritch (holding Leave No Bill Behind sign) in $olidarity with mutliple multi-millionaires during the Howard Dean rally at the UO.

Mary Takes Over

Ahoy hoy! Mary Ritch here, Hilary's much wealthier alter-ego and outspoken member of the Billionaires for Bush. We consider ourselves President Bush's true constituency, the very very very rich 1%. My first action as a Billionaire for Bush was to join my compatriots in excess ( Dee Regulation, Millie O'Nair, Bill M. Moore, Anita Kickback, Lottie Bucks) to protest at the Howard Dean rally held at the University of Oregon. What a despicable mouth-piece for ordinary Americans! And what a litany of complaints he had against our man in the White House! Even so, Dean seemed charmed by us Bill's, saying that while he is neither a Billionaire nor for Bush, he loves us.

Our aim at this gathering was to dishearten the opposition (really, they're a sorry lot anyhow) by reminding them that we're the real winners when it comes to politics. Together we chanted, "We're here, we're rich, get used to it!" and "Big money, united, shall never be defeated!" On my own I strode about exhorting the students gathered to, "Marry rich, so you're children won't have to!" Meanwhile I spread the good news about Bush's promised capital gains roll-backs that will make it possible for even their children's children to live off the fruits of an advantageous marriage. President Bush makes a wealthy spouse a better investment than ever before. Huzzah!

Holding my "Leave No Billionaire Behind" proudly aloft, I crowed, "It's a class war and we're winning!" while encouraging the young plebian Dems assembled to, "Throw your ballots away, darlings!" They too seem dazzled by my sense of entitlement and greeted me cheerfully. Oddly enough the only real opposition I faced that day was from a young Republican clutching three battered Bush/Cheney signs to his chest. From his contracted brow and compressed lips the young fellow seemed be experiencing some kind of distress. With a thought to cheering him up I approached.

Me: Oooh [I fairly cooed], it's always a delight to meet youngsters! You must be a very very very wealthy young man.

Young Rep: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Did you know that the biggest money ticket in election history is the Kerry/Edwards ticket?

Me: Oh, dear. If that's true we certainly haven't been doing our job on the fundraising end. Perhaps it's because we can't count on Kenny Lay's contributions this time. Such a pity...

My young friend's snit seemed to be worsening, so I tried a different tack.

Me: I guess it just goes to show you what a turncoat Kerry is. Really, he's a shameful class traitor.

This seemed the wrong thing to say, because the young man got suddenly very rude.

Young Rep: You know, it takes a low-grade education to just hold a sign.

I looked down at the signs in his tightening grasp.

Me: You're demonstrating that nicely, aren't you?

I suspect he is not really one of us. Perhaps if he's very clever and charming and aggressive he could be one day. But I doubt it.

Cheerio!

Hello!

In one year I have become a Dr. and a Mrs. -- although it's Ms. Hart or Dr. Hart to the world, Dr. Sweetie to John. As my friends and family you may all be sick of hearing about me and feting me, so at the risk of super-oversaturation, I offer you my blog. Here you will find all the news (real and fake) and general minutiae that this free server will host.